THE CLOTHESLINE

I didn't know that God has a clothesline until one morning when I was out for my daily walk. I was innocently walking along humming a tune when I noticed the big round beaming sun, which had just risen in the east, and was about a good four inches above the mountains. "Hum," I thought, "she is beautiful today." I continued my stroll, when much to my delight, I looked to the west and saw the moon. It, too, was large and round and glowing, and to my amazement, was about four inches above the mountains. "Wow," I thought, "he couldn't be more spectacular." So I continued my walk when I happened to look up and saw a jet stream across the entire canopy of the sky. Wonder of all wonders, it connected the sun and the moon together. "Wow," I mumbled, "that looks like a clothesline." And then, unbelieveably, I noticed five birds in a row suspended in air just below the jet stream. I could not believe my eyes. Those poor birds were obviously drenched and had to be hung out to dry. That's when I first discovered that God has a clothesline.

KEEPING JOURNALS

We are admonished by so many people to write in our journals daily, to crystallize our thoughts so that we may learn who we are, what we think, feel, and what we dream about. A journal helps us to remember experiences, to glean new ideas, to laugh, cry, think, ponder, wonder, question, and to examine our inner thoughts.

I started keeping a "daily journal" years ago. However, there was so much going on in my busy life that it almost became impossible for me to record everything, and I felt somewhat over-whelmed. I then realized that I had focused on many negative things and re-reading them brought me sadness. That was certainly not the intention of my daily journaling.

I then started my "gut-wrenching journal" where I purged my negative thoughts and got all that nasty poison out of my system. I actually found this to be helpful for as soon as I was through madly writing, I would rip it up and throw it away. Bye Bye bad thoughts!

I next started my "happy journal" where I wrote about experiences which brought me a great measure of happiness. I enjoyed this for a time, but felt a little unfulfilled with that approach.

After that I started my "gratitude journal" which is a delight to read but did not paint the whole picture.

I finally started writing a "purpose" journal and I found true gratification.

So, now I have my "daily journal," my "gut-wrenching journal," my "gratitude journal, " and my "purpose journal." I have since added a "thought journal." I feel so inspired!

Yes it is true, I have been a bit fickle with my journal writing. Yet, I continue to enjoy writing my experiences, feelings, and inner thoughts. Sometimes my thoughts are funny, sometimes they are sad. Sometimes they are profound, and sometimes they are glad. It has taken me many years to sort out which thing should go into which journal. I am afraid that some day, when I am old and senile, I will probably get mixed up and rip up my "happy journal" and save my "gut-wrenching journal."

Oh, this world of journaling has become so complicated for me. I may have to start another journal "How to keep track of my 'daily journal,' my 'gut-wrenching journal,' my 'gratitude journal,' my 'purpose journal,' and my 'thought journal!'" Is there enough room on the shelf? Woe is me!

GOODNIGHT

Each night before I go to bed,
I say goodnight to the moon and the stars.
I wonder, "Who created you?"
"I know, I know!"
Some how I feel comforted knowing
there is Someone greater,
much, much greater,
who is watching over this old world.
I say "Goodnight, my friend, the moon.
Goodnight, my friends, the stars.
Goodnight Father, my Peace!"

AN ORDERLY LIFE

I have just a sliver of memory when I was toddler. I distinctly remember that the plastered walls of my bedroom, which I shared with my twin and probably older siblings, were painted dusty rose--my father's favorite color because it reminded him of his flowers. My crib was against the corner wall and a regular sized bed was next to it. A chest of drawers with bobbled legs was placed by the entry door and was stuffed with clothes, treasures, odds and ends, an all sorts of things.

It must have been in the morning, for the bed was not made and the room felt cluttered with clothes and toys on the floor. I remember standing in the crib in my pajamas. My hair was tangled as though I had been tossing and turning all night--straggly as I remember it. I had woken up and my mother came into the room to get me out of the crib. I told my mother that a "too too train went through my bed last night." She thought that was so cute. I do too. It was cute. I was cute!

Although I was just a toddler, I remember vividly how I felt. I didn't like the room that particular morning. It was displeasing to me. It felt unkempt. I have never liked that feeling. I like order in my life, in my thoughts, in my actions, and in my home. I think I was an orderly person in the pre-existence. It seems to be a predominant characteristic of mine. I love cleanliness, order, and a certain routine. My soul wells up with feelings of anxiety if my life is not in order. Thank heavens for files, folders, and organizing boxes. It just makes life so much easier for me. I can think, feel, and function more clearly if I have order in my life.

I am grateful for my memory, although just a sliver, for it helps me to understand myself better. I was born this way. After all if a "too too train" is going to run through my bedroom at night, I had better have the room in straight and in order. Wouldn't want the passengers to see my room out of sorts!

ONE DROP AT A TIME

One day many years ago, as I was irrigating, a gentle flow of water filled the ditch and meandered throughout the garden. It was an easy, smooth flow and was quite manageable. The water crept along the dirt and soaked deep into the dried, parched ground. This beautiful little scene lasted only a short time for someone opened the valve at the head gate allowing a massive wall of water to come shooting down the ditch. I was amazed. What had been a gentle flow of water just minutes before was now an angry rush of water. Quickly, the ditch bank over-flowed and became completely washed out. I placed wooden checks throughout the yard in order to manage the gushing flow. Our yard was saved. Unfortunately, the garden of the neighbor was completely flooded and mud was everywhere. What a mess.

Water is very powerful. Even the slightest drip from a leaky faucet can, over time, wear down a porcelain sink. I have seen it happen. I have actually seen rocks which were worn and hollowed from the constant flow of water. Caves have been carved out from water and worn down by the wind. It is all so amazing.

Just as the water and the winds have carved and smoothed the rocks, I, too, desire to be smoothed and polished. My jagged edges need a constant buffing in order for me to become the refined woman I desire to be. It does not happen all at once. It takes a great deal of time.

I have learned that we are smoothed and polished by design. It is our purpose in being here on earth. Over the years, I have had my own collection of rocks, or burdens, which have needed polishing. Thankfully, I have seen refining take place for I am not as quick to judge. I remain silent more often. I feel more pain and suffering in my weaknesses. I see more good in others. I express my love openly more often. I genuinely respect and admire others who at another time may have caused me jealously. I feel compassion and rejoice in the accomplishments of others and feel sorrow for their failures. Yes, I believe that time has smoothed and polished me somewhat.

Sometimes a jut or jagged edge sticks out but I know that through the natural process of rippling, flowing waters that they too will be smoothed and refined. "A river comes from a stream. A stream comes from a creek. A creek comes from a drop of water. (anon.)" That is how the polishing takes place--just one drop at a time--and then a river flows. What are the little drops of water that turn into a creek, and then a stream, and then into a river to polish and smooth our souls? The answer is found in Alma 7:23-24: ...be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need both spiritual and temporal; giving thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive. See that ye have faith, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works. (Taken from my personal notes of "Finding Fulfillment.")

EVENING IN PARIS

When I was in junior high, I took library science as one of my elective classes. Miss Pinigree was the librarian and I got to know her only as an immature junior high student could get to know an adult. Miss Pinigree was a rather unattractive, unpleasant, and difficult person to be around--or so I felt. I thought she was bossy and I caught on quickly that her sharp tongue could cut deeply and her flashing eyes could pierce clear through you. Her short temper seemed to be near the surface and caused the students to step lightly in the library. She was a short, squatty woman, built like a box. Her dark brown hair was streaked with gray and tight finger waves surrounded her face. She had a rather gaudy yet flamboyant style of dress and often wore garbs that were enhanced with sparkles, bangles, and bobbles. Gold bracelets, necklaces, and dangling earrings were draped over her body. I had never seen so much jewelery on one person at one time. To top that off, her cheap perfume made my stomach churn as she passed by. I believe it was "Evening in Paris." I felt very uncomfortable in her presence and did not like being in the library with her. It was like living on the edge of terror from one moment to the next.

One day, however, she confided in me that she would be "receiving a gentleman caller" that evening. She was so happy and I could sense in her that she thought he might be the "special one." But I knew within my heart that the relationship was not going anywhere. I concluded that there was a reason why she was a old spinster--it was her unpleasant personality. Sure enough, she never mentioned him again. I wondered at the time if the anticipated "evening in Paris" was like an "evening from purgatory" for the "gentleman caller."

I don't think she lasted too long at the school. She didn't seem to fit in. She was different from other people in the area. Her difference should have made her interesting to be with and a joy to be around but it did not.

When I think about Miss Pinigree, I wonder if I had met her as an adult if my experience would have been different with her--I am sure it would have. Really, was she all that bad? I am sure she was not. After all these years, I wonder if she ever found a "gentleman caller" who decided to stay. She was most likely just a lonely lady who wanted someone to care for her and to love her. I have concluded that we often misunderstand others when we are immature and do not have the ability to see the picture clearly. I can only say, "Miss Pinigree, I hope you finally had a wonderful "evening in Paris" with a "gentleman caller" who saw you not as an old spinster but recognized the loveliness within you.

WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

Many years ago, I was watching an old-time movie. The actors were very colorful and rich in character. In addition to being a black and white movie, the language used was very dated. One fellow said to the other, "You insufferable odeous lout!" Why, I had never heard those words before. They were very descriptive and brought a smile to my face. Because I did not exactly know what that meant, I immediately took out my dictionary and discovered that insufferable means intolerable or unbearable. Odious means loathing, disgusting, or offensive. Lout means clumsy, stupid fellow or boor. So, to translate the phrase, it could be said, "You intolerable, disgusting, boor!"

We have lost so many of the quaint words and phrases from yesteryear but have gained new ones like "totally rad." Words that were so innocent years ago, like "gay," which meant to be happy or blissful, have now taken on other meanings. I remember when the word "awesome" meant "inspiring wonderment." It now means, "cool." "Cool" use to mean "temperature slightly warmer than cold." It now means "totally rad." "Totally rad or radical" use to mean "complete, extreme change." It comes full circle and now means, "cool!" It is all so confusing. Words have been overused and misused so often that they do not quite have the same meaning. Sometimes, I get mixed up and say "thongs" meaning beach shoes but the whole world thinks it mean "skimpy underwear." "Britches," on the otherhand, is another word we seldom use any more. It use to mean, "pants," both inner and outer! I'm not sure what it means now. I personally like to use the old phrase, "okie, dokie" because it is crystal clear, to the point, and very difficult to get mixed up. All in all, words, with their old or new meanings, give me a "hankering" to use them more often and in a "muiltiplicity" of ways. Words--use them often, "okie dokie?"